The Art of Living
by Walkure Leuad
Summary: A set of short fics based on the 65 norms I think or advise from the Art of Living by Epictetus picturing the everyday life of Byakuya and Renji.
1. Author

The Art of Living by Epictetus is a set of about 65 rules or phrases so you can kind of live your life by. Totally agree with all of them.

So this series are based on every rule on the book, I'll try my best to update at least twice a week but that will depend on real life and how the muses are behaving (I have no talent as some to pour writing ideas, I am a slow writer).

The stories are stand alone, meaning, they will not continue, there are not going to be any cliffhangers but some of them will make more sense if you read previous chapters (I will then point to the part you would need to read first).

This is based on Bleach characters, which belong to Tito Kubo, but they are so nice toys one cannot help but borrow them for a while.


	2. Know what you can control

**Know what you can control and what you can't**

Byakuya's room

* * *

Renji reached out to caress a strand of hair though free of the kensaikan was still shaped by it. He roamed his gaze over the noble's slender figure and noticed the tense posture of his body.

The defiant eyes looking back at him were not those of someone bothered because of losing a game. The eyes said more. The defiance and discontent ran deeper and Renji pondered where it was coming from. This was just a game no? Renji's thoughts went back to what Urahara had told him but he in all ignorance had dismissed.

"Renji, maybe another game would be best? Our Byakuya has never liked things running out of his control, you know."

"Na! He needs to get rid of some of that stiff attitude he carries with him all the time. I know he will like it."

And here he was now, eyes feasting on this sweet vision. Renji thought there was no better turn on than having his captain complying with his every wish. He knew, Byakuya would be upset at first but then he would warm up to whatever outrageous idea Renji had come up with. Renji also knew that deep down and in spite all that reluctance to give up control Byakuya really loved it when it happened. It was only that his pride didn't let him give in without first making a fuss.

"If you don't like the game why did you agree to play it?" asked the red-haired man.

* * *

The mischievous manner the question was voiced in bothered him to no end. Yes, he had agreed to this outrageous game being confident that he would bit his vice captain at anything. Little he knew Renji had been researching for this particular moment and devilishly cunning as he was regarding putting his captain in awkward and uncomfortable situations, he chose a game which none of them would have control on the results whatsoever. He stared at the two little black doted cubes wanting to summon Senbonzakura and slice them into tiny pieces.

He had lost. Again. Defiantly, he stared at his vice captain while shrugging out of his haori, folding it and placing it besides the previous discarded zanpakutou, scarf, kensaikan pieces...

Oh, Renji had most protested against taking his kensaikan one piece at a time arguing the different pieces were part of one item, hence, he should take off all the pieces at the same time.

But two can play a game. With a dismissing 'Abarai, you should heed your own rules' and much quoting of the meaning of the word 'piece' as a single item, he thought he had the upper hand because that way he certainly had more 'items to discard' than his vice captain. But the two little cubes were no help. He was losing one after the other, his vice captain always getting an upper number than him.

And there goes a glove.

Now, he didn't know what bothered him most. The lost of control of the situation or the fact that with every roll of the damnable small cubes he expected Renji to lose so he could glimpse more of the sensual tattooed skin.

And how come his vice captain discarded only his damn hair band so far? He could not feel any spell from the cubes so it could not be Renji was cheating. And he didn't think Renji capable of such tricks anyways; he was too much straightforwardly clumsy for that kind of thing.

* * *

This was one of the finest ideas he had come up with so far. Watching the all-powerful Byakuya Kuchiki reveal himself a piece at a time was the most exquisite experience one can enjoy in life… or death. Now, the fact the dices were tricked was something he will take with him to the afterlife after his afterlife. His captain would Bankai-him if he only knew.

There goes the other glove.

Such fine hands; such deadly hands too. Those hands will certainly punish him hard if his ruse was discovered. Well, he should not worry too much because short of his captain having a tea party with Urahara there was no way in hell he could ever find out.

Ah, there goes shitagi, kosode, hakama, hakama-himo, tabi, waragi…

Byakuya sat now in front of him in all his splendorous perfectly white, soft, creamy glory. Now was time to reap his reward. Yeah, this one promised to be a passionate and out of the ordinary encounter.

* * *

It maddened Byakuya when for whatever reason he ended up fully nude while Renji was fully clothed. It was all an internal struggle for him when they played these sorts of games. It was still difficult to be as care free as Renji but he was taking small steps at a time, or huge steps whenever Renji decided to experiment with something new.

He had learned it was futile to try to sidetrack Renji for he would then figure out some other crazy idea. So, he preferred to just follow through and he had to admit that up to this point no matter how out of his code of conduct, in the end, he always ended up enjoying himself. Renji knew him so well in that regard; he knew where to draw the line much better than himself. And that was as comforting as it was frightening.

So all the discomfiture he felt during the whole game was gone as soon as Renji pressed him against his almost fully clothed figure. His naked skin kissed by the light breeze coming from the private garden and at the same time caressed by the rough fabric of Renji's soul reaper uniform made his head dizzy with pleasure.

He threw away the remnants of his willful attitude and melted in his vice captain embrace.


	3. Stick to your own business

**Stick with your own business.**

At Urahara's shop

* * *

It has been long since he had enjoyed a peaceful break like this. There was always something someone needed with most urgency or there was the 'occasional war to save the world' going on and of course 'someone' to drag him in the middle of it.

Soul reaper. Vizard. Human. It did not matter. There was always something going on. And lately they have even started to bug him with stuff more related with a dating business than everything else! He certainly felt like sending a bill to Byakuya Kuchiki and Zaraki Kenpanchi for all the troubles their respective significant others were giving him.

Renji for starters, was going to use up all his patience and Byakuya would need to look for pieces of his beloved in different parts of the world. One of these days he was going to bankai the red haired soul reaper to the next afterlife.

Though convincing Byakuya to play nude poker did sound like lots of fun and the stoic noble would never find out who gave the game instructions to Renji (much less the game was also tempered with). So he should be safe...

Urahara's thoughts were rudely interrupted by the door banging open against the wall.

"Scatter."

... On second thought


	4. Recognize appearances

**Recognize appearances for what they really are**

Byakuya's private garden at the Kuchiki Manor

* * *

Renji felt much at ease these days. The elders did not bother him anymore; either they gave up or they were plotting something nasty.

He had come to appreciate the beauty of the garden. Being someone not very prompt to go around watching the meanings and intricacies of the landscape, Renji had to admit there was something about the garden's view that called out to him. Maybe spending time with Byakuya was rubbing in on him.

He reflected on that.

When was the last time he had going out to have drinks with squad 11? Or drank himself to oblivion for that manner? Or pick up a fight for the fun of it? Or slacking at the bothersome and boring paperwork? Played a joke on Byakuya?

Hmm. There was a thought. Note to self; pay a visit to Urahara's shop and buy something fun, Byakuya needs some teasing.

Was he changing himself to accommodate Byakuya? Hmm. There was more reflecting to do.

He felt his usual self. He still had fun but it was just that he changed the means to get that fun. He still went out with soul reaper friends but just not to get drop-dead drunk as before and this was mostly due to the fact Byakuya would never go with him to such gatherings. It was simple; he was at a stage of his relationship where without Byakuya things were just not fun. While in company of others he could not think about anything but the moment he would get back to Byakuya; silly, really, given the fact they worked beside one another all day long.

And that was another fact to consider. Byakuya at the office and Byakuya at home were two totally different Byakuyas. No. He had to correct that thought. Byakuya sharing an intimate moment with Renji was a totally different Byakuya. It was not that his captain had two faces but rather had a part of himself he didn't show to anybody; only to Renji. And Renji loved him all the more for that. He could understand how should have been for Byakuya growing up under such tight rules. How difficult would have been for a spirit naturally inclined to rebellion to abide to so tight and rude less rules like those of the nobles. Renji was thankful that even though his captain seemed to represent uptight nobility at the highest degree, he kept that rebellious streak deliciously simmering underneath that cold facade of his.

Yes, his Byakuya has a complexity that was like a siren call to Renji and said vice captain loved to test it's boundaries and has been pleasantly surprised more than once by what the noble would let him experiment with during their intimate encounters.

Above all; Renji's favorite moments were those were he would wrap his arms around the noble and Byakuya would return the gesture with just enough pressure as to not make the hug uncomfortable. Renji felt as though a part of Byakuya was still waiting for something to happen and set them apart. The noble didn't voice this worry or even hinted at it, stoic and aloof as he was but Renji had learned to read certain signs. At moments such as these he would pet that glossy dark mane and he would literally feel Byakuya melting against him; a tension not apparent at first, leaving the noble's body.

Appearances were not always what they seemed and Byakuya was a good example of that.


	5. Desire demands its own attainment

A thousand thanks to the person who review and those who chose to be alerted about updates.

BUT (big big BUT)... I need reviews... reviews are nice. Writer's food. If writer's belly is full, writer's happy AND muse is happy AND writer will come up with nice and romantic ideas...

So, can I expect more reviews???

Also, I know I wrote in my profile I will not use japanese words if possible (too lazy to research proper grammar) but sakura is such a nice word for cherry that I will use sakura instead...

remember!! review is the key word today!

* * *

**Desire demands it's own attainment**

Under sakura trees

* * *

Walking among blooming sakura trees was something Byakuya looked forward to every spring. Everything disappeared around him while among the beauty of these trees. But today, their precious pink blossoms seemed to mock him.

He was not someone to act on his desires. Or better put, he was someone who since as long as he could remember has been taught to refrain, restrain, accommodate, and follow rules up to the letter. 'Not befitting of someone of your station' was a phrase ingrained in his brain along with as many rules as the scattered petals from his blade.

He thought about the things he had wanted and could not obtain. They were simple things. At least they would seem ridiculously simple and within reach for an ordinary person. But those things had not been granted to him.

Running free with other kids when he was little, running was not proper of a noble. Friendship with someone out of the noble families was out of the question no matter how he liked that person. For him it was amazing how people out of the noble circle could do anything they pleased. Eat whatever they liked. Drink as much as they like. Dress, as they liked. Talk with whomever they want to...

Fall in love with whomever their hearts chose for them and be able to act on those feelings.

The life of a noble was not as comfortable and easy as everybody thought it was. As a noble, your heart can be ripped in peaces and you are not allowed to show it. As a noble, the world might be crumbling around you but still you have to measure your steps.

He had read in a book from the real world that one should only desire for things that are possible for one to get. That, aiming for the unattainable was bringing disaster upon oneself. This could not be more fitting for him; that what he desired had the potential to bring, if not disaster, certainly havoc to his life.

Byakuya was at a crossroad and whatever path he chose to walk will be full of obstacles. Where he to walk that road pre chosen for him by birthright he would certainly last only a few decades more; he was sure his soul will fade away under the pressure of living in such misery. Where he to walk the path of his desires he would lose his family for sure, he would lose a lot of things and some of them he certainly didn't care about.

He had suffered awfully when he defied his family to marry Hisana; they saw her following death as a just punishment for his breaking of the rules and he only got looks of contempt where support was supposed to be given. Had he 'friends' out of the noble circle he would certainly have received better aid during those hard days but as it was he was isolated from real friendship.

Not even among the captains he had someone he could call his friend. Comrades, yes; but not someone he could confide in. Not someone he could talk about all the feelings and doubts boiling in his heart at the moment. He wished for that friend now. And, ironically the only person he would dare to share something with was the one person he could not talk to.

Renji Abarai.

His days were spent on a constant struggle to ignore how his heart randomly increased its pace while in presence of the red haired man, how his stomach fluttered every time the amber gaze was directed at him, how it has become an obsession to stare at the vice captain when he was distracted filling out reports. It was getting more difficult to keep his usual collected self while Abarai was around.

He had tried his best to put a stop to emotions that will lead him to imminent heartbreak but to no avail. He was in love. This what he felt was no fleeting thing like his family thought at first. It was real and they started to realize it. They started to pressure him and soon his family will make their move.

Byakuya's thoughts kept going back to the words he had read in that book. Those words applied to him in more than many ways. He was desired what from one point of view was unattainable for him. But truth was that if he decided to act on his desire he might have a chance to what seemed impossible. So, in the end it all came down to a matter of sorting his priorities out.

He had a decision to make and then act upon it. He had to decide if the rules of his world, the noble world, were worth a lifetime of misery. He was a noble, he was also a soul reaper, but underneath all, his soul was no different from the next and craved for the same simple and basic things any soul craves. Companionship. Friendship. Warmth. Love.

Putting everything and everybody else before his own needs was all he always did and knew. For one time, he had to forget about his family, Soul Society, and all the rules and duties that came with them if he was to be happy. He would have to discard and relearn; he would have to re-shape himself into the new world he would sure live in devoid of the rule of the nobles.

After much thinking Byakuya decided he would trust his heart once more and follow it's desire. Just like that he felt as light as a sakura blossom swirling in the wind.


	6. Character matters more than reputation

This is most discouraging. No reviews...

* * *

**Character matters more than reputation**

Somewhere in Soul Society

* * *

"Renji, you have to practice control. It seems your mind is focused in one thing only lately," said Byakuya as his vice captain embraced him from behind placing a tender kiss on 'that' spot on his neck. The captain knew too well what that particular gesture meant and they were not in the proper place to engage in such activities.

"Common Byakuya! Lets not waste this opportunity. Everybody should be at the festival now. There is no one around." Renji tried some more coaxing, nibbling gently on the pale flesh.

"Should. 'Should' leads the door open to chance. It is not an absolute word like 'is'; I will not be risking someone catching us in an inappropriate situation."

"But that is what makes it thrilling! The remote possibility of being caught!"

"Have you thought what would happen if we get caught? How would we look? A captain and a vice captain of the 13 Squads debasing themselves out in the open?"

Byakuya Kuchiki regretted his words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He did not mean for them to come out that way but the red hair soul reaper always got the best and worst out of him. He felt a chill crawling up his spine when Renji let go of him without saying a word.

"Renji… " He quickly turn around and grabbed his vice captain by the wrist. "I apologize. That was unbecoming. I should not—"

"Is that really how you feel? Debased? When we make love?"

The whispered question and the hurt showing in Renji's eyes drained the blood out of the noble's face. "No!" Exclaimed Byakuya in an uncharacteristic display. "No, Renji," continued the noble in a more subdued manner, "that is not how I feel." He had never felt debased by Renji; he loved him to the point of despair. But how to make him understand that it was not in him to show this kind of behaviour publicly? That it had nothing to do with Renji, he would feel the same way if he were with anyone else. It was deep-seated in his brain, the proper way a noble should behave at all times. Even when alone! How to explain that as unlikely as may seem, Byakuya Kuchiki had just chosen his words poorly in the spurt of a moment.

Renji pried out his arm from the noble's grasp, leaving Byakuya with no option than to let go or fall to the floor. They stood face to face and from a bystander's point of view they might seem about to engage in a duel and it was not that far from the truth. But this duel would be fought with a different kind of weapon, and the potential damage was such that could lead to death of their newfound love.

"But it seems to me your subconscious has betrayed you," said the red hair man in a cold voice. Renji could see the struggle in the noble's face but struggle for what he was not sure. Struggle to save face? Struggle to fix this situation? Struggle to fight for their relationship? Was it a burden for the noble, this relationship of theirs? Was he fooling himself into thinking that this was going somewhere, that they had a future together?

"Renji, you cannot decree, based on a few inadequately chosen words, the depth of my feelings for you," said Byakuya trying his best to remain calm for nothing good would come out if they both lose their heads. But with every passing moment the invisible hand that started to squeeze his heart since this whole mess started seemed to tighten its grip.

"Well, lets say you didn't really mean that. Then what's your problem? Really now. We have been together for almost a year. The whole Soul Society knows about us, even your family knows and seems to be OK with it. I am about to be promoted to Captain as well; and then we will be equals in every way. Or at least in every way that matters to you for if the case was reversed I could care less about your origins or what status you have. I would love you the same and shout it to the whole world. So then, what is it? Is the problem I am not from the noble houses? Because—"

"NO!" And this time the noble really shouted the word, leaving Renji somewhat puzzled for he had never heard him raise his voice. "Stop!" Byakuya exclaimed lowering his tone. "Do not follow my example and say something you might regret later. I love you Renji, and to me it does not matter what status you might have, if that were the case I would never have accepted you in the first place or gone against my family's wishes once more. Is not that proof enough… of what I feel for you?"

Byakuya Kuchiki had never been in such spot. Forced to explain, to apologize, to fight for love, to try to rein on barely held emotions. His spiritual pressure flared, his will barely keeping it under control.

"Then why this mockery of secrecy? I know you are not someone to openly show your emotions. But you just go to lengths to not show them! I don't see an effort on your part to make it better. And don't get me wrong. I am not asking you to change but just to give me a little bit more of affection. Unrestrained, freely given, spontaneous affection, not the likes I have to cajole out of you. Is it too much to ask to hold hands, a peck in the chick, a tender gesture? Even Kenpachi is capable of showing tenderness to Ichigo, in public! Why is so difficult for you? I would understand if your family didn't know but they do know, there is nothing to hide. So what is holding you from showing a little warmth? What—"

Byakuya was livid. He was like the string of a musical instrument, tightened too much and about to snap. He was not angry with Renji; on the contrary, he was angry with himself, and with his family and the way he was taught to restrain his emotions and to never show anything to anybody. He remembered a time were he was not like this, he remembered a time were expressing himself did not equal to fear of damaging the Kuchiki reputation. He remembered a time where his character had not been shaped into the shell he was now. He remembered and regretted the loss of that Byakuya. He would give anything now to get that Byakuya back but he knew it was not possible.

Byakuya reflected on how many options had been taken off his hands for the sake of his family and felt suspended in time, stuck in this horrible moment forever. Everything Renji told him played in his head at maddening speeds and in the balance of his thoughts he found himself lacking. Renji was right. If not change completely at least he could make more effort. But the truth was he was not even trying. He had made the decision of re-shaping himself for Renji if necessary but had not moved an inch towards that goal. And now, it might be too late. He might loose the most important thing for the sake of the Kuchiki pride. What was pride if you did not have life? What is pride in the face of love but something that gets in the way?

"… Byakuya! Snap out of it! Byakuya, can you hear me?" Renji didn't know exactly when but sometime in the middle of his tirade Byakuya's spiritual pressure started to gradually flare. Maybe he didn't notice because his own was high as well. But the single tear making its way down an awfully pale chick certainly called his attention.

Renji had stopped mid-sentence, noticing how Byakuya was not looking at him but through him; his face devoid of emotion and the silent tears falling profusely now, painted a disturbing sight. He closed the distant between them in two steps, calling his captain name to no avail. If not for the tears the noble's face would be of utter calm. Well, that and his spiritual pressure starting to spiral out of control. Anger, all but forgotten, Renji grabbed Byakuya's shoulders trying to call back his attention.

For Byakuya, one moment he was trapped in a loop of misery, Renji far from him, screaming at him and the next moment his vice captain's face appear in front of him, a look of concern in his brown eyes. He regained a hold on his reality, feeling both their spiritual pressures starting to clash; his out of control and Renji's trying to contain it with his own. Everything seemed surreal and at the same time he was aware of every sensation; the trembling of his body, the tears on his face, the fabric of his uniform on his skin, Renji's hands reaching for his and him holding onto them for dear life, while the whole word shifted on its axis. He tried to speak and found his voice uncooperative. He let go of the supportive hands reaching around the red haired soul reaper, embracing him tightly and burying his head on his chest.

"A peck in the chick would have suffice, you know?" said Renji, trying to lighten the mood, slowly sitting on the floor, taking the noble down with him. He was glad the road was deserted for he wouldn't like anyone to see his captain in such shape. Something of what he said must have gone through the noble. It was what he wanted, to get through that stupid pride of his but Renji did not want it to be like this; with the noble reduced to such state. He petted the dark mane soothingly and started to think his captain had fallen asleep in his arms when he heard the noble saying something against his chest.

"Strip me from my pride," said Byakuya, his voice a whisper. "I do not want it if it means I will lose you. I do not want its burden anymore."

"I don't have to strip you of anything to love you Byakuya. I fell in love with you as you are in the first place. I only ask you to give me a little of affection, in whatever manner is comfortable for you.

"I was not always like this. I wish I could bring back that other Byakuya for you. But I can not."

"And I am not asking you to be someone else!" said Renji, tightening his arms around the noble to emphasize his point. "I just need a little bit more, that is all. You don't have to worry about rules while we are by ourselves, in our room. But, you don't even let go at those times."

"I shall try. I will try… for us… and for me."

Renji waited for the noble to say something else but soon realized the noble had fallen asleep in his arms. It was dark now. He lifted the slender figure in his arms and walked towards the destination he originally had in mind before the whole mess started. When they arrived he deposited Byakuya on the make shift mattress he had prepared for the occasion and positioned himself as pillow. The stars sparkled in the sky and a new moon casted its light on all things. It was a beautiful night to spend in the open.

And Renji thought that, all things considered, the evening ended as planned.


End file.
